“Kikuyu people should not be described as the children of Mumbi”, an angry Kamau Mwangi swore and then spit on the ground. “Kikuyu people are relatively ethnocentric with some measure of pride in their culture, genotype, and phenotype. In fact, the Kikuyu are named after a man not a woman? The man is Gĩkũyũ (pronounced Gekoyo)” he continued. Kamau is a middle-aged Kikuyu man who wants to restore Kikuyu people to their pristine roots and connect them with their divine mission.

Why should the Kikuyu Exist?

“You know Gikuyu was created by God so that he can raise a tribe that can complete specific works of creation. Only a Kikuyu of pure lineage can complete these divine works” Kamau told me.

The peak of Mount Kenya is the holiest landmass in Kikuyu culture and religion. In Kikuyu, it is called Kĩrĩnyaga. The founder of the Kikuyu was assigned his divine mission by God at this peak. CREDIT: Wikimedia.

I informed Kamau about the Russian philosopher, Ivan Ilyin, who argued that God became sick after creation and had assigned some communities with the task of healing creation and healing God, as well as dealing with the anti-creation forces that had caused some creatures which were not not supposed to exist in our world to exist as flesh and blood human beings. “A-ha. I knew it. Even Russians know that Kikuyu lost the plot and caused the world to fall. You know, God assigned the Kikuyu with a mandate to repair the world, and for the Kikuyu to be able to do this, they were set apart from other people and equipped with the mental and physical faculties to achieve their mission. The bad thing is that they were also given free will to choose to accomplish the mission (and remain Kikuyu) or abandon the divine mission (and become duriri [pronounced dorere])”.

“What is duriri?” I asked.

Duriri simply means a non-Kikuyu community i.e a community that has no connection to Gikuyu and his sons and descendants” Kamau answered.

“So, it is the equivalent of Goyim in Hebrew?” I answered back.

“What is goyim”, Kamau asked.

“It is the collective term used to describe nations, but it now means non-Jewish people. In the Bible, goyim is translated as Gentiles. A single gentile is a goy” I answered.

“Very interesting. Very interesting. In Kikuyu, duriri is the equivalent of goyim and a goy is simply a muriri. You can see that Kikuyu were set apart from other tribes/nations. I am not saying that duriri are all bad or all good. There are good duriri and bad duriri. That’s all.” Kamau replied.

I never told Kamau that duriri in Ilokano – the language spoken by the Igorot – means protruding buttocks which is interesting considering the ideal Kikuyu female phenotype.

Disease of Creation

“Goyim are supernal garbage” said the Alter Rabbi (Rabbi Shneur Zakman [1745-1812]).

דיוקן של בעל התניא. The Alter Rebber. CREDIT: Wikipedia.

“Where did Jews get those ideas from, or are such statements made so as to create boundaries between themselves and goyim?” asked Kamau after I informed him that Chabad philosophy initially contained a lot of anti-Gentile statements.

“These ideas come from Kabbalah whose principal work, Sefer ha-Zohar, contains anti-Goyim diatribe, despite the fact that Kabbalah is simply Jewish Gnosticism” I answered.

“Jewish Gnosticism? So, Gnosticism was not an entirely Jewish religion?” inquired Kamau.

“Yes, Gnosticism was not developed by Jews. In fact, it developed in Africa but it describes the black race as the disease of creation!!!”.

“I think the bible also describes the black race as the disease of creation that was not created by God but are a creation of a curse” Kamau said and continued “you know Gikuyu was not black but was created as a yellow man with a hairy chest and hairy hands who could climb to the peak of our holy mountain and commune with God.”

Kamau asked me if I know a person who could teach him Kabbalah – he wanted to know the basics and see if it can unlock the divine mission of the Kikuyu. I directed him to Antony, who is a highly intelligent postmodernist with deep knowledge of Judaism, Life Sciences, Physical Sciences, and Western Philosophy. Kamau contacted him and we met after a week on Saturday 12th August 2023 when he was receiving a case of halal meat from a Somali merchant he introduced as Mohammed Warsame.

“Kikuyu have been corrupted because of eating haram food. Now, the average Kikuyu child is uglier and darker than his or grandparents because of intermarriage. Kikuyu people have lost respect for themselves. At this rate, they will end up looking like Turkana and being politically powerless like the Luhya or Kamba. Why do Kikuyu parents allow their daughter to be married to a Jaluo or Luhya? Don’t these parents have any shame? Don’t they want their grandchildren to look like them? We Somalis want to help the Kikuyu by preaching to them the benefits of halal food and nikkah. I am planning to start classes to teach these confused Kikuyu teenagers about nikkah and why it is important” Warsame explained his mission civilisatrice among the Kikuyu. Warsame then showed us a clip of Somalis trading slaves at the beginning of the 20th Century. “This is what happens when you lose your culture, intermarry and become a mannerless jareer. You get captured as a slave and you are sold like a donkey” Warsame warned as Kamau craned his neck to view the clip that was playing on Warsame’s iPhone.

“Wow…no Kikuyu looks like that. Those jareer slaves look like Luhyas” said Kamau. “That is how Kikuyus will look like in two generations. We will be talking about yellow skinned Kikuyu the same way we talk about dinosaurs now. Be careful about intermarrying with undesirable people” smirked Warsame as he loaded the last emptied meat case back to his truck and then drove off.

“What did you learn about Kabbalah?” I asked Kamau. “It filled the details that Kikuyu lost. All Kikuyu with clean souls should study Kabbalah because they will understand it. You Gikuyu and Abraham share the same soul root. That is why our souls rhyme, though most people called Kikuyu nowadays have a non-Kikuyu soul”, he answered.

Divine Mission?

“When Gikuyu was created, God stood him on what is now called Mount Kenya and showed him all the land and mandated him to descend to the land below, get a wife and start a family so that their descendants can inherit all the land surrounding this holy mountain, as well as fulfill the purpose that God created Gikuyu for, and this purpose is the Kikuyu reason to exist in this world. What I have said is that Kikuyu people have a mission assigned to them by God in this world. They were chosen to fulfill a mission in this world, and this mission could not be fulfilled by any duriri. Ironically, Mumbi is the woman that Gikuyu chose from among the duriri living at the base of our holy mountain, and that is why Kikuyu have a reddish-brown skin” Kamau explained.

He then added, “all the children of Gikuyu were born with muriri blood in their veins which explains why Gikuyu failed to accomplish his mission. Basically, he fell from grace, and it is we – his children – who should salvage the situation. Mumbi had no idea about how to accomplish this task and for this reason, she only gave birth to girls. No boys. To salvage the situation and prevent the children of Gikuyu from becoming duriri in the second generation, God intervened and created nine husbands who married these nine daughters of Mumbi. This means that our God created 10 men to found the Kikuyu people and avert the destruction of the children of Gikuyu in the hands of confused and rudderless women”. Kamau argued that women should not be trusted with leadership position just as men of questionable lineage (who cannot prove their direct paternal lineage to Gikuyu) should also not be allowed to lead the community. He then make a remark about the Jews.

“The Jews are focused on their divine mission because they have maintained leadership in the hands of wise puritanical Jews, while sons of Gikuyu are embroiled in the waste of humanity” Kamau praised the Jews. Kamau then made a rejoiner, “Gikuyu was wise to hide the name of God from most of his grandchildren and only revealed it to the few wisest grandchildren he had. Otherwise, the name of our God would have been profaned, desecrated, and blasphemed by foolish Kikuyu and their duriri counterparts”, Kamau asserted.

“So, Ngai and Mwene Nyanga are not the names of the God of the Kikuyu?” I asked. “They are substitute names that can be shared with duriri, and duriri are allowed to utter them. You should remember that Kikuyu started off as a fallen people, and a fallen people cannot be allowed to utter the name of God” Kamau answered.

Fall of Gikuyu and Sons of God

“Kikuyu started off as a fallen people?” I asked.

“Yes, the Kikuyu caused the fall of heaven in this part of the world. I know you read the Bible so let me relate this to the fall of the sons of God as recorded in the Book of Genesis,” Kamau started his reply and continued “or better still, let us start with what exists today”

“Mwai Kibaki is in hell boiling in a sludge of blood, sputum, semen, and excrement. It was he who created an environment for duriri to infiltrate the Kikuyu and prevent the holy souls of Gikuyu from descending back to earth because those souls can only enter a body of a pure Kikuyu, not the smudge product of a union between a Kikuyu and a muriri (whose body clothes a soul from Gehenna). This explains why these duriri with Kikuyu names cannot understand the divine mission of Gikuyu. It is like expecting a child born to a Luo woman and a Jewish man to understand why Judaism is necessary. Such a child cannot understand because he lacks the soul of a Jew”.

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